Wednesday, September 16, 2026

Haitian Gangbanger and Illegal Alien Deported Back to Haiti

 


Wisteguens Is Leaving on a Jet Plane

(Parody – to the tune of John Denver’s classic)

All my bags are packed, the cuffs are on tight,
Standing here in ICE custody tonight,
Hate to tell the camera I was wrong, bro, goodbye.

Dawn is breaking, flight’s early morn,
Plane is waiting, Haiti-bound for sure,
Already I’m so salty I could cry.

So kiss the streets of Boston for me,
Tell ’em “Biden forever” won’t set me free,
Hold that “I’m not going back” like you’ll never let it go…

’Cause I’m leaving on a jet plane,
Don’t know when I’ll be back again,
Oh Haiti, here I go.

So many times I caught a case,
Seventeen convictions, none of ’em fake,
Assault, drugs, weapons – they don’t mean a thing… to the judge.

Every street I ran, the Back Block gang,
Every time I yelled “F--- Trump” again,
When I land this time, no more American bling.

So kiss the sanctuary cities for me,
Tell the cameras how I fought to stay free,
Hold that TPS dream like you’ll never let it go…

’Cause I’m leaving on a jet plane,
Don’t know when I’ll be back again,
Oh Port-au-Prince, here I go.

Now the time has come, the order’s final,
Nineteen months later, no more denial,
Close your eyes, ICE already cleared the way.

Dream about the days I ran free,
When “I’m not going back” still worked on me,
About the times I won’t get to say…

I’m leaving on a jet plane,
Don’t know when I’ll be back again,
Oh babe… I mean, Haiti… I hate to go.

(Combative mid-flight remarks about the President and family optional, but highly recommended for authenticity.)

AoSHQ: Morning Report 09.16.26

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